Sonuber
by makoncrayley
Summary: It's Sonic, crossed with the SNL short, and soon to be movie, MacGruber.
1. Girlfriend

**Notes:**

**I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, SNL, or Macgruber. This is just a small idea I had. I'm a fan of the Macgruber shorts so I decided to parody them with Sonic. Also Sonic will obviously be the main one, Amy and Shadow will be the assistants or something. Like the SNL short, each chapter will be split into three parts.**

* * *

**_First part:_**

_~Song~_

Sonuber.

Making lifesaving inventions out of household material.

Sonuber.

Getting in and out of ultra sticky situations.

Sonuber.

He's dating a model.

SONUBER!

_~Super villain base in the snow control room~_

Amy: The doors locked Sonuber. And from the looks of that bomb, we only have 20 seconds.

Sonuber: Don't worry. Amy, pass me that paper clip.

Amy: Right. (Passes paper clip over)

Sonuber: Shadow, pass me the nail clippers.

Shadow: Nail clippers, here. (Hands the nail clippers over)

Sonuber: Amy, pass me the... (Hears his mobile ringing) Oh hang on one second, that's my phone. Hey, it's my girlfriend. (Answers the phone) Hey honey, how are you? Yeah. Alright.

Amy: 7 seconds Sonuber.

Sonuber: Hang on Amy. Ok. Wait, what? You're breaking up with me? You're going out with my best friend? YOU SL...

_~Explosion~_

SONUBER!

* * *

**_Second part:_**

_~Song~_

Sonuber.

Has just been dumped and kicked out of his house.

Sonuber.

He's started smoking and drinking, and he's also cutting himself.

Sonuber.

The man's a freaking train wreck.

SONUBER!

_~Underwater lab control room~_

Amy: The door has been bolted shut Sonuber. And that bomb says we have 15 seconds.

Sonuber: What's the point of living. I'll never find someone to love me again.

Shadow: Snap out of it and stop the freaking bomb already.

Sonuber: SHUT UP SHADOW!

Amy: Sonuber, you'll be alright. I've broken up before.

Sonuver: Really?

Amy: Well I've called the break up about 50% of the time, but yes. Now hurry, we have 9 seconds left.

Sonuber: Alright. Shadow, hand me that laptop.

Shadow: (Hands over the laptop) You gonna hack into the bomb or something?

Sonuber: No, I'm joining a dating site.

Shadow: WHAT?

Sonuber: Oh, Mary looks nice. I'll just click on her and...

_~Explosion~_

SONUBER!

* * *

**_Final part:_**

_~Song~_

Sonuber.

He's back into dating and he's looking for a woman.

Sonuber.

He's had 7 failed dates, and one was actually a man.

Sonuber.

He really sucks at dating.

SONUBER!

_~Playground control room~_

Amy: The door is stuck and there's no other way out Sonuber. And we only have 10 seconds left.

Sonuber: Amy, pass me those two glasses.

Amy: Ok. (Hands glasses over)

Sonuber: Shadow, hand me that bottle of wine.

Shadow: Uh, ok? (Hands wine over) What's it for?

Sonuber: For my date and I to enjoy. (Pours wine into a glass)

Shadow: Can't you take a few seconds out of your date to save our lives?

Sonuber: I'm on a date. Damn.

Date: Yeah, I think it would be best for us not to go out.

Sonuber: Bu... bu... FINE! GET LOST YOU WHO...

_~Explosion~_

SONUBER!

* * *

**Well, that was an idea. Hopefully I get better ideas for this. Send replies, give me ways I could improve this.**


	2. It's all about the money

**Notes:**

**Time for some more Sonuber. A Makon Crayley original (By technicality).**

_

* * *

_

_**First Part:**_

_~Song~_

Sonuber.

Making lifesaving inventions out of household materials.

Sonuber.

Getting in and out of ultra sticky situations.

Sonuber.

The man's a freaking genius.

SONUBER!

_~Mountain hideout control room~_

Amy: The doors been locked Sonuber. And that bomb says we have 20 seconds left.

Sonuber: Don't worry. Amy, pass me that can.

Amy: (Passes can)

Sonuber: Shadow, pass me that piece of string.

Shadow: String, right. (Hands string over)

Sonuber: Amy, pass me that cat.

Amy: (Passes the cat over)

Sonuber: Shadow, pass me that coin.

Shadow: (Hands coin over)

Sonuber: Now to... Meh, I might as well. (Pulls out a scratchy)

Shadow: What are you doing?

Sonuber: I might as well scratch this while I have the coin. (Starts scratching)

Amy: 8 seconds left.

Sonuber: Calm down, we'll live. (Finishes scratching) OH MY GOD! I'M A MILLIONAI...

_~Explosion~_

SONUBER!

* * *

_**Second part:**_

_~Song~_

Sonuber.

Making lifesaving inventions out of household materials.

Sonuber.

He's won fifty-million dollars and now has several girlfriends.

Sonuber.

The man's a millionair.

SONUBER!

_~Playboy Mansion control room~_

Amy: The door has been sealed shut. And by the looks of that bomb we only have 15 seconds. Do something Sonuber.

Sonuber: (Smelling money) What? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my money. Now to play my new PlayStation 3. (Starts playing)

Shadow: Do something.

Sonuber: I am. I'm playing Infamous.

Shadow: Try doing your job.

Sonuber: Screw my job, I have money.

Amy: 10 seconds Sonuber.

Sonuber: How about... (Phone rings) Hold on. (Answers phone) Hello?

Man: Hello, I'm with the IRS. You have been spending your money and not paying taxes.

Sonuber: Screw taxes, I have money.

Man: Not anymore. We're taking everything you own away, including all the money.

Sonuber: Um, how about, you suck my d...

_~Explosion~_

SONUBER!

* * *

_**Third part:**_

_~Song~_

Sonuber.

He's lost all his money, and is living in the gutters.

Sonuber.

He's begging for scraps, and using garbage for toothpaste.

Sonuber.

The man's a filthy hobo.

SONUBER!

_~Day care school control room~_

Amy: Everything is shut Sonuber. And we have 5 seconds left.

Sonuber: (Waring a paint bucket on his head) Pass me a staple, a tooth pick, and a banana.

Shadow: (Passes Sonuber all that stuff)

Sonuber: (Combines it, stops the bomb)

Amy: You did it.

Sonuber: Yeah. I don't need money to do stuff, I just need a spoon. Now pass me a paper clip, some tape, and some bubble gum.

Shadow: Why?

Sonuber: Just do it.

Amy: (Passes stuff to Sonuber)

Sonuber: (Combines the stuff) I made a detonater that will set off the bomb anyway.

Amy and Shadow: WHAT?

Sonuber: Don't worry, It will only activate when I say pickles. Oh fu...

_~Explosion~_

SONUBER!

* * *

**Picture Sonic wearing a MacGruber costume. That's what I picture him as when I write this.**


End file.
